News from Around the World

Do you love Michael Moore? Noam Chomsky? Ted Kennedy? Harry Reid? Hillary Clinton? Good, because none of my advertisers love 'em either. That's why you should check out at least 3 of my advertisers below. OK, you'll do it? All of you doing it already? All of you are already?

According to a new poll by the Democrat National Committee (DNC), the trial of Sen. Hillary Clinton's former campaign finance director, David Rosen, is "insignificant and uninteresting to 97 percent of all Americans."

"To capture the public's interest," said Mr. Reiner, "you need intrigue, risk, betrayal, suspense, high stakes, high-powered characters and celebrities. But we all know that Hillary Clinton -- our nation's next president -- was not involved in any way, shape, form or fashion. So, it's just an ordinary tale of a clumsy associate who made an honest mistake. It's kind of like [Clinton administration National Security Adviser] Sandy Berger accidentally taking classified documents from the National Archives. Oops. Yawn. Now, let's move on."